Murphy's Law

The start of Apr has not been good, phone spoil, knock my friend's car. The only good thing is YOU.
Thank you for being there. I think i am starting to communicate more. I am not good at putting my feelings into words but now i am starting to get the hang of it. I am slowly trying. Today, i told YOU stuff that i wanted to say for sometime but never really had the chance to. That again is something i need to work on.

I hope you get where i am coming from. We cannot be going back to how we were back then if not the result will be the same at the end of the day. I want to change for the better and also I want the best for you! I want you to tell me everything, rant!, small little nitty gritty stuff, Because to me, I feel that when you tell me all these, i get to know to you react to situations, what are your opnions, how you think, what you are thinking. that is what matter the most. I really want to get to know you more. I understand you but I dont think i know you well enough.  I want to be your best friend, your soulmate. I want you to tell me stuff so that i can tell you mine also. It is good that i am opening up and trying to tell you stuff.  It is good for the start. I also hope that you would be truthful to me and dont hide stuff from me, cause it will again bring us back to where we were. I want us to come to a point where we can blatantly ask each other questions and we can give our honest opinions and truth, cause we know what the truth will set us free and we can forgive and forget. We should not be judging each other or rather we should behave like adults and put things into perspectives, We need to move on and make it work. We need to rebuild our relationship based on the new things that we found and what each other is looking for.  I know you are trying very hard and i see your effort and i am really very proud of you. It must have been hard for you but this will help you grow. You are 21 already, entering into adulthood. There will come a stage when you get more mature, step into unfamiliar ground and get out of your comfort zone. That is when you finally know what you want out of life. It is not shameful to not to know what you want now. It will take sometime and what you thought you want now might change as time pass, when you gain new knowledge and view things differently. No one is certain of the future, what is certain is you have to respond to situation, rather than react to it.

What can I do about it that will help the situation?

Have you heard of the Cockroach Theory for Self Development?

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landed on another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.
In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.

The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.
When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?
If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?
He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my
inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.

Lessons learnt from the story:
I understood, I should not react in life.
I should always respond.
The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of, just and right to save a situation from going out of hands, to avoid cracks in relationship, to avoid taking decisions in anger, anxiety, stress or hurry.

 I hope you give me the chance to be there to lend you a helping hand. to see you grow, to see you stepping out of your comfort zone. I hope you can help me grow too. 

I dont know if you have read this but take sometime of to if you do see this post somehow, someday

 http://elitedaily.com/elite/2012/20-good-habits-start-20s/?utm_source=rss

With that being said, lets work hard for our finals and our relationship! I might be spending more time on the books and might neglect you for awhile. I guess this is more important at hand now. Stay strong my love, you can do it! 

Love you,R

Jack