Passion

Sometimes when you want to give up, just rmb those things that have push you this far till now. I tried my best, or i think i did. with a sprained ankle. we still lost. I am definitely not okay with losing, who likes to lose anyway. Oh well. i guess i will just have to keep pushing. till the day where i dont see the need to any more. It's is suppose to be something that would make me happy rather then something that would bother me. What dont kill you only makes you stronger i guess.

and ard 70 days more to freedom. please come soon as i cannot tolerate those people anymore.

Back to square one

I realise for most of my life I've always been putting others b4 self, thinking about how others will feel etc. i never really cared about how i feel and what not. Sometimes i just dunno what to do maybe its just the way i am. i dunno. maybe it's time ti start loving myself and starting thinking more for myself.

Lonely

Long time since i last blogged, just felt like doing it today.

Today was kind of a bad day for me. yes. i lost the match. not the team. i was the liability instead of the asset as i always thought i would be. ); Its weird how i know i can do it better then the rest but time and time again i just flop. thinking that there will be a second chance. NO. there is no second chance. i dunno. i was totally off the whole match. not talking or whatsoever. I have been playing it for close to 5 years? or more. and i think i haven improve much. No point talking abt it. Is over already. I just need some super cheesy strawberry aka SCS to cheer me up. I'll proved my worth in the next match. Thats the promise i will do for myself.

Do you ever feel lonely? like there no one free for you. or there's nothing do to. I dunno sometime i feel this way. or maybe when i am sad i feel this way. Actually i'm a rather shy person. keeping things to myself. but if you asked i will say. haha. weird rite? i dunno. i just hope to find someone whom understands me even if i dont have to speak up much. or accompany me through the gd times and bad times.

AND I WONDER IF I EVER CROSSED YOUR MIND, FOR ME IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

ndp

Finally, it all comes to an end. 4 months of preparation, just for the very day where singaporean unite together to give our well wishes for singapore. 45 years of safe living, that counld have happen by accident. but anyway, i think i'm so going to miss my monday off. back to 5 day work week. back to camp. facing KNQWERTEFJNC ppl. seriously. they are getting on my nerve. thank god its just half a year more. ((:

No one can never give up on you, only you yourself can.

someday

Somehow, someday is what people always say when they want to find excuse for themselves. but it just takes one day for many things to happen. Just one day.

People only realise your importance when you are not around them. ironic.

Anyway, I got so much things but so little money.

I wan to buy new tv, renovate my room, new watch, new hp, more clothes, new shoes. oh well. got to save up soon. ((:

what a month

July is a very short month for me actually. ndp offs and overseas vacation just helps to make your life in army so short yippee!! haha. anyway this month have been a un-couple month i think. i see so many of my frens in r/s problem, sometimes i think if it is worth it a not to get into a r/s. i think somehow, someday two people is going to fall in love forever till they die. But b4 they are able to do so, they go through a series of test b4 they are eventually get together. god is fair. he created us in a very special way. he gave us two hands, two legs, two eyes, two ears. two nostrils, two kidneys. but why only one heart. actually he created two. just that the girl has one and the boy has the other. ((; rite? haha.

have you ever felt lonely. no one to meet. and wished you have someone to call upon who will be there all the time? a companion? i dunno. sometime i just feel this way. maybe because i am the only boy less my father in the house. my others siblings are female. which makes me only having myself to talk to and maybe spidey? haha. but i am lucky to have frens around me whom i know i can depend one. but sometimes you just feel that they have their own stuff to attend to. you may treat them one way but they may treat you another. but true frens will treat you like how you treat them so fret not. ((;

REDANG

Back from a short vacation. ((: yippeee. REDANG!!!! cool place. beaches. sand. a place where you can let down your guards and just chill. did many things that never in my 20 years of life did. like ear candling? full body massage? snokelling? air brush tatoo. really a very unique exprience with awesome frens. ((: photos on fb soon i HOPE! haha. ((: back to reality. back to camp. back to the emo me? haha.

DIMSUM

Though i wat a FML friday, weekends was great. met up with chunfu and reagen and we treated reagen to dinner for his bd. ((: yea. sat was not much just duty and watching 富 贵 门 。 quite an awesome show. and i am finishing soon!! yea ((:

sunday was good. rested at home b4 heading out to tampines to ref. Very happy to see eileen there! haha. thought got no fate to see. but in the end we still saw each other. haven seen you in two weeks. anw. she and tania waited for me to ref over. (gulity much) then tania drove us to bkt. but it was closed! )): saded. but we went over to geylang for dimsum! IT WAS AWE- wait for it- SOME man!!! love dimsum. esp prawn stuff like har gao!!! YEA!! can eat like 10000 of them. haha. then went over for some or nee. that very much summaries that day.

Anyway, sometimes ppl feel down all of a sudden, they are just sad, dunno for what, i guessed its just some days when things just dont go the way you plan it out to be. oh well. live it, or leave it! ((:

melacholy

TODAY IS SERIOUSLY FML!

Early in the morning, i was full of confidence for tp, all went well till it goes to the road. seriously frk the tester. oh well. sad ttm.

And i recalled back to camp again for investigation. WTF. seriously. no mood to blog.

somebody Embrasses-moi? yea i noe it's not the end of the world. but it's just i guess disappointment? you know as usual.

WHoo.

Start of duty month.

actually i think we are now all numb by duties. we will just do and suck thumb. actually there's nothing bad about doing duty cause you are basically living in your own world. haha.

like every other saturday, its NDP!! whoo. today was a rather short one as the p5 kids bus jammed up the city march route so we dont need to form up. what makes today so funny was the they actually took the TRS to call my hp

TRS: Is this 3rd sgt jack?

Me: ehmmm, uhmm ya?

TRS: IRON CHARIOT x3

Me: SMLJ?(never say out). ok.

Me: think hard. wa. SHOCK.its the recall codename.

Me; call ISAIAH.

ISAIAH: LOL. its shawn who called you using the TRS. LOl.

Me: !@#$%^&*() LOL. hahha.

Frking epic man. ((:

end of daY

Song of the day. 听 海

297th

THis is the 297th post. I vividly rmb setting us this blog all for english purpose.But it ends up after 5 years that i am still using it. When i look through some post, i felt rather childish at some of them, but then again, at that time i am sure i wouldnt be thinking this way.

5 years have passed and so did a lot happened. walking out from you wasnt that easy as i thought it would be, but i did and time will really heal. i dont hate you for what you did, i just thought you ought to explain. but i guessed something are just better off leaving it the way it is.

I think i have grew a lot this five years, not physically as you can see. haha. still as short. i think that is one thing that bothers me sometimes. Is like dude. i am like so short and girls nowadays are getting so tall!!! how to find the right one? oh well. lets see how things go. Mingyan the great has calculated some of my pa zi and he said i'd have a wife. let's see if he is as accurate as paul the octopus. haha. jk

I've been thinking all this while that i revolved my life around ppl. without them there's no me. I do much but i dont hope for anything in return, i just love to see people happy and will be delighted if i am the one who make them smile! I think i am born this way. haha.

no mood to blog already tata

Times with you.

Times nowadays is really great. time spent in camp

Watched Knight and Day and IP man over the week, both movies were awesome, but mingyan told me that the IP man movie was all fake, not true at all. sian max.

Tuesday was fun filled. Virgin trip to Bukit timah and Bukit batok nature reserve! LOL. two wondering souls waking around aimlessly, exploring places, seeing chickens and baby chicks, knowing facts about lychen etc. ((: Climbing over fence, cabbing at short distance. haha. Last stop was Yang Rou Tang. Love it maX. thank you for the fabulous day!

Wednesday was shag max. Butter was boring.

Thursday was metting up session with kl where she never fail to update me about her life. she just told me not to be a relationship guru cause she hates it that i am always right and that she would have to pay me next time if i become professional

Friday was dinner @ Sapparo with eileen. The ramen soup was awesome and the on too, just that it was a bit salty. The gouza was AWESOME!! i just love dumpling!!! ((: and prawns! bought some jap food @ japanese delight and bought tong ruo shao! Yay. chestnuts and red bean paste is gd. Red bean is my fave too. red bean soup and potong!

Sat was ndp! without sleep cr3. Hope you guys enjoyed the show, though it was rainin, or mao mao yu. but nonetheless the show was worth it rite? (: TimbreD! Long time since i went there. It is still one of my fav place to chill and relax. Its just different at arts house or substation! OLD SCHOOL ROCKS my socks. Finally as promised i brought you there, 142 steps was worth it rite? ((: Roast duck pizza ftw! yea!! Yesterday duo was awesome too. singing my fav songs almost all the way. OK i will try to beat you in finger guessing! RRARRR!!! Martini wasnt that great. but overall i did enjoy myself much! ((: hope you too!

The whole week was rather shagg, having to take photos in no.3 and sleeping less than 4 hrs a day due to wc. but it was all worth it (: i sure did enjoy myself this week!!!

Sometimes it is not the place you are at that matters, it is the person you are with at that time that matters. I think this life i am born out to be a listener. I love to listen to ppl when they talk about their lifes and stuff, be it good or bad, one call and i will be there. I think i have this strange i dunno that connects with people. how i am able to understand them and know them. It's strange how i know it too. Maybe i just realise the smallest thing? But it can be my weakness too. ): Anyway i love the way i am just that i am short ): haha. hope for better weeks ahead.

Thanks for being such a gd fren and companion, her beautiful jade. ((:

Movie

She's out of my league was hilarious!!!! haha. *try pronouncing it faster (wm)

Knight and Day was Awesome too. 2 movies down. many more to go ((: yea.

Happy people attract happy people!!

love

When you know that something is impossible or you dont want it to happen, then dont commit and fall too deep, because you will only get more hurt. (:

Embrasses-moi?

myself

Only when you start putting what you think into action, then you will get the result.

Only when you start procrastination,then you will get what you want.

Only when you start to feel happy,then you will be happy and so do the people around you

Only when you start loving yourself,then you will be loved by others.

Only when you start, then you will...

AIrplane

Sometimes, its best to leave the beautiful things beatifully.

sick

Bing dao le.

I' guess it's time i get use to being lonely.

happy day

When you are happy, you attract happy people. (: lol. today's long day at ndp. walked up and down from suntec to padang. Perspire like no body business. but i did a good deed today by help one guy to retrive his trambone. He was nice to thank me ((:

When you give someone something and hope for something in return, it's no longer a gift but an arrangement.

BFF

Some point in life, you just dunno where you headed, where you belong and why you live for. You just spent day by day, living each day like every other day. There comes a point in your life that people come and go, there are people who stays and there are people who doesnt, those that stays maybe your good friend. but those that doesnt, does not mean they arent your's. Maybe it just ended up in a bad way. Sometimes you wish to be rich. you see people with cash, cars and they are around your age you asked, "why is heaven so unfair" what did he/she do to deserve all that? but you never know that they may come from broken families etc.

People only see things from one side sometimes, they forget about the other side. before you start questioning people why they treat you this way, think about how you have treated them in the first place now or even last time. When you are down and upset, who is there for you. when you are lonely and cold, who is there to accompany you and let you feel warm. When you are happy and want to share your joy, is that person who is around you still around, or random people start coming out to share with you. Often it is these people who share your lowest time with you, that wil be your closest friend.

This week, pass pretty fast, Nothing much happen actually, apart from pasting stickers and writing all over padang, walking 10km in a day from F1 paddock to the Marina bay sands. This sat is sure going to be rowdy as we move towards padang.

Anyway A-team was awesome ((: Adios.

on the line

I hope this week would be better, cause the last weeks sucks, from pses, to major upsets. it just makes me down like a lonely boy.

Anyway, BFF, i dunno if you have forgiven ( dont dare to contact you)but if you are reading this, i hope you have, cause i really dont want to lose this friendship due to this. there is always a lull period, but i hope after this incident, it would only make us closer and not drift apart. we still haven planned our assumed trip yet. we have been there for each other through thick and thin. midnight tau huey! jiao-ings, 2mins to lose 120$ and much more. i just hope 7 of us will stay strong for each other. ((:

SAD

Sometimes its hard for instant forgiveness, it will just make that person just too piss off. When time kicks in, you wonder have the other party forgave you, or are they still waiting for you to apologize. Friendship is on the line, nobody wants to lose a fren. esp for me.

Yesterday i talked to someone whom i have not talked to for quite sometime. she reminds me that i have been like taking care of ppl all my life, like its my forte. who is going to care abt me then? Sometime ppl care because they cared, and sometimes they care because they hope the other party would reciprocate. I know there's fren out there who cares. Sometimes you go all out, but get disappointed with the responses and actions by others. Why make things so complicated, sometimes to make it worst, it looks like you are the only one who gives a damn and other just being nonchalant. Then you think, why should you give a damn then. they can like that why i cant be the same. When you settle down to think, someone has to do it, if they dont, it will still come down to you. and that's the start of the vicious cycle.

Actions speaks louder than words, but sometimes, you just dont know when and where to start.

Friend

Sometimes when you thought it was all fun but other ppl dont think so, shit happens. when you wan to salvage things. it just gets worst. no matter how strong the friendship, it will take a long time to heal, but the damage, the crack will always be there. Time will heal, but the scar will always be there.

Sometimes you wonder, you do a million good things and ppl will only rmb a few, but you just need to do one wrong, and ppl rmb it a lifetime. you just cant get the best of both worlds, finding a win-win in every situation. You are gd to one, you hurt the other. you wan to get angry, in the end the other party becomes more angry. and you feel frk up. funny isnt it?

this week aint really a gd week for me. dont feel like talking anymore.

ANGRY

Today is sucky. EMOed me. ignts.

Stayover

Stay Over at zoe's house was awesome!! Times spent with you peeps is always fun filled with laughter. ((: even simple game like ASSHOLE daidi could be of so much fun. acting like Van's doll to play ban luck with her. and not forgetting aNdrE imba skills of fortune telling with poker cards. let see how to what extent it will be true. ((: Talk lots of craps and had pillow talk. LOl gossip girl? haha. and sharing of girls side and boy side abt relationship. Maybe Van and Dre should switch sex? HAHA. and our assumed trip may end up assuming. but like what we all all agreed on. no matter where the destination, it will always be fun when we are all around ((: yea! lets hope its not assumed. i try my best to make it true!

If you miss the train I'm on,
You will know that I am gone,
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles.
A hundred miles, a hundred miles,
A hundred miles, a hundred miles,
you can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles.

Lord, I'm one, Lord, I'm two, Lord,
I'm three, Lord, I'm four, Lord,
I'm five hundred miles a way from home.
Away from home, away from home,
Away from home, away from home,
Lord, I'm five hundred miles away from home.

Not a shirt on my back,
Not a penny to my name.
Lord, I can't go back home this-a way.
This-a way, this-a way,
This-a way, this-a way,
Lord, I can't go back home this-a way.

If you miss the train I'm on,
You will know that I am gone,
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles.
A hundred miles, a hundred miles,
A hundred miles, a hundred miles,
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles.

Hey soul sister.

Yea. 5 days of long weekend. sometimes you just hope that the weekend never ends. Anyway. a quick update. Thursday, booked out at around 3 and went to look for JIM's present. i hope he like it. or say he better like it cause me and joe walked for bloody long time to look for it. ((: happened to pass by bras basah so bought the dictionary along the way. hope you like it (: sweetness rite? haha. anyway then headed to meet andre, zq, mel, zw, zh for dinner and to look for Van's present. Unsure of what to buy we practically walked aimlessly till all the shops closes and we got nothing. then melson left and wm came to meet up for prince of persia. mid night show again. but this time diff. for the first time i never fall asleep. was really a very nice show i must say. better than the one i watched midweek.!!!! dont ever watch once a gangster!!! LMAO. So headed home to crash after that.

Wake up early to meet sy to look for Van's present again. and she was late for like an hr. ok i sort of anticipated it already but then oh well. yea. she woke up at the time of meeting, FML. ya so went to river island and finally managed to get Van a pair of flats for work and sch perhaps? hope she like it. BETTER LIKE IT. wahhaha. and had fun shopping with sy. *its calling out to you* inside joke haha. FUN. then went to enous for driving. was brought to the circuit. quite scary i must say. yup. must try to improve on my driving. ((: yea!!! hope i an one time gd one. After that headed down for Jim's charlet. ate. and play cards. Damn fun when daryl the bodoh bodoh is around. WHAHA. then home for overnight mj and without much sleep headed out for Van's birthday celebration. Now i am back. tired ttm! shall end here. hope the individuals like your presents ((: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU PEEPS. Have a blast!

280

Today is the 280th post. and its already may for the 2010. Next sat will be someone birthday, someone whom is special to me 5yrs ago, though now things have change and i am glad we are still taking friends ((; Past is just not worth mentioning as it would only bring more pain and sorrow. Just hope she will be doing well in her life and find her happiness. Although the real reason for her to back out was not really known, but i guessed no point finding it out 5 yrs later. Anyway just hope she realise she does have friends who cares and love her where they dont usually express themselves out openly. HA. anyway. all the best to you as this chapter finally has come to a close. It time to move on and i have already moved.

Not that now i have someone special to me, but i will keep finding. keep searching till i find one. I think the most impt thing is finding someone whom you can talk to and she understand who you are, no matter what you are. but now i think i will have to ifnd out what i want to study in the university. i dont want to waste my parents money studying something that wont help me in the future. 8 more mths to ord. how cool is that. ((:

And if you happened to read this, Happy birthday ((: All the best for your exams results. Friends (:

High archiever

I Fallen short of OUTSTANDING SERVICE MAN, and i got a high archieveR award. NOt say i am disappointed though. Against all the regulars, i am definitely put at a disadvantage. HA. Anyway, There's still time for improvement. I shall strive harder and aim for that award. ((: Yea.

Sometimes i wonder, If i do good to ppl, will i get good back? haha. beats me

Prayers

Sometimes I really wonder if my prayers were really heard. Life is really getting boring nowadays i must say. Although I got two other siblings at home, but i still feel alone. sometimes i just really wan a companion. someone that you can count on. someone that love you, be there for you. Not that i boast, but i am pretty sure i do make a very gd fren if you know me well enough. just dont take advantage of me. (: sometimes you just wonder, why is it that ppl do not reciprocate what you done onto them (the gd ones) they just remember the bad stuffs that you have done and bare grudges over them. You can do a million of goods things, but you just have to do one wrong and people will always remember that one thing that is wrong and forget the million good things that you have done for them. Human nature. Irony?

boon or bane

Sometimes, i got the ability to predict things, other times its just that i am lucky, or just that i am more keen and sensitive to the things happening around me.

Probably because god knows when i last felt cared and loved. thats probably one of the reason why i dont feel happy for longest time. i know that there are ppl who cares and stuff. perhaps i just need companion. IRONY?


Every time you walk away or run away , You take a piece of me with you there.

unhappy

I just dunno why i just cant be happy.

HYPE

I am feeling super hype now!! OMG OMG! this week has been a very slack week after all. Tuesday all I did was to swim and relax! LOL. then wednesday was a bit tougher. just ovm and sim. But anyway. Wednesday got psed! was rather sad as i have got like no plans since my only plan was to meet them. I wanted to call justin out, but then i know he is working so didnt want to disturb him, wanted to call zoe out since she has all the time in the world now that her exams are over. but i never did that. i dont like to get ps actually. ok who likes it but then. oh well. anyway. i went to bishan with army frens for dinner. then went to drink koi, then this amazing thing happened. its like god knows i miss them and make them appear before me. i saw justin at KOI with mysterious lady LOL. but i was like omg! wT! no way. i told him abt that i wanted to call him, i swear its true. Then talk to him for a while then i dont want to disturb him so left him. we meeting sooN yea!! ((: then after taking my koi, we walked to J8 and then OMG! WTF! i saw zoe, min min and shu mei! SERIOUSLY man. HAPPY TTM. see two ppl whom i wanted to call them to meet but didnt. that really made my day sia. With mg around, my days will never be the same!!! ((:

TOTAL HYPENESS!!!

Life

life is like a video game, sometimes it gets exciting when you explore new things, sometimes it gets draggy due to the cut scene. The amount of credits you have depends on your previous life and the goods you do in this. some game can be never ending, some might just end abruptly. But whatever is it. you are the one in charge of your own game. so start taking it seriously now. (:

Reason for the realisation abv, one of my juniors, an avid hpt member passed away after slipping into a coma due to a car accident. Life is so fragile. Although some ppl might be tough on the outside. small viruses can already take them down like squashing an ant. My recollection of him was him being a small and cute boy. speaking in those sha sha voice. a ncc member, I was their camp chief for their training camp so I know each one of them. Maybe I have not train them well? maybe the programme wasn't as it turn out to be. But no matter what, he still pass out as a hpt.

I did spend sometime to think about hpt like again. HPT was like a family to me, a place where people joke around and have fun, and at the same time fostering camaraderie while working together to up a good show. Those Freaking SMART! late night camp planning at mac, it was all worth it as you see the smile on the campers face and everyone being safe. All was good till something, someone mess it all up. what's the point when eventually you win in the end? are the people very happy about it? as educators, isn't it your obligation to nurture students, and ensure that they grow up as happy and knowledgeable children. What's with all these politics, bringing in personal grudges into the whole thing wasn't so professional at all. so not very cool! but oh well. Whatever has happened, happened. No point crying over the spilled milk.

OK on a lighter note, celebrated Zw birthday yesterday, they got him a LIVERPOOL JERSEY! and a shirt from slirpingape . cool shirt! had a great time. everytime when i am with them, be it niggers or grace clique, its always fun filled with LOUD laughter ((: looking forward to spending time with you peeps again soon. and also to friends i have not seen for days, weeks, months and year! LOL ((: see ya. i love you guys.

KEEP SAFE.

LOVE?

This week pass quite fast, probably because the week starts on Tuesday? Amry is becoming more hetic i think from now to ndp and to aao. i thought time would pass rather fast but someone seems to have freeze my time, slowed it down for me. I do not hate him, but I just dont like him, the moment he open his mouth. i just feel like slapping it shut. but anyway lets not talk abt the sad thing.

On a happier note, weekends was great for almost all the later part of the day.

Friday met Eileen for dinner at mi mi ji di! HAHAH. ((: glad she liked the place. She is really someone very special to me. as somehow sometime she can read my mind. I dunno how but she can really do that. ha. and we never seems to run out of things to talk. Although she annoys me at times of conveniently not replying me, but she is showing much improvement already. HAHA ((:

Sat: met up with nigger bros. Needless to say, when they are around, fun is around. ((: words just cant explained. i just love them

Sun: reagen and chunfu for prawning. the trios are out once again. although i always keep quiet sometimes but actually it's just that u dunno how to express myself. if i cannot say anything nice, might as well dont talk. but strangely enough they can somehow get me to talk. LOVE YOU PPL

Thanks for making my this weekend so special.

FRIENDS

I love it when ppl send me sweet or random messages.

SELFISH

Sometimes you juse cant help feeling frustrated when you are doing a lot of things and other ppl just ROC. YOu feel bad when you ask others to do stuff, you feel unsafe to entrust something to others cause you may end up doing double work. FML. Does capable people always have to do more? WTF man seriously. One day i might just explode.

I am pretty nice guy, but that doesnt mean you can take adv of me. There's a limit to everything, Dont push it!

Time

When something comes and hit you very hard. you think at that point of time. There will be no return, you are not going to feel better, you are not going to be better, you are just going to suffer. People always come and comfort you telling you that time will heal. You just do not want to believe. How is time ever going to heal for a broken relationship, a lost of loved ones and etc. But those who have walk through it knows it, it is true that time does it, it helps people to forgive and forget.It helps to relieve the tension, give you more time to think logically and rationally. TRUE?

(: cause I think it's true.

Weirdos

Actually, i think humans are very weird ppl, they can love ppl, hate ppl, bring down ppl, laugh at ppl for no particular reason. They may just be talking bad about ppl at this end, but the next moment you see them tgt tgt. LOL. Weird isnt it?

Coming to one year solider. lots i think i have seen, and i think that almost enough for me. Really sick and tired, when you are more capable, you do more work, so why the f* you be capable for sometimes you think, but it just runs in the blood i guess.

With great powers, comes great responsibility. (:

Dont say for the sake or saying, say it because you mean it.

BENJAMIN BUTTON

Its saddening to see someone you love lying there, not being able to help and all you could do is just be there to make them feel better. You will never know what will happen tmr, cherish everyday like your last day, then only you will live each day to the fullest. STAY STRONG!

Tears welled.its is disheartening to see those children you have "rear" neglects you in the end. what the point of giving birth to so many, yet its just a few who gives a damn. i wouldnt be surprise if the day you are gone "touch wood" they would be quarrelling. not even letting you leave in peace. ): But heaven have eyes so do you. you know whose gd to you, and whose those NATO.

I rmb when i was young, you dont like me, you always scold me, say why am i so ji cha aka talkative. I also dont like you cause you always scold me. I dont like you cause you dont like me. HAHA. typical child mindset. But things starts to change as i grew older, i am more aware of things. You start to like me, so do I. (:

Anyway, watched i not stupid 2 on channel 8 yesterday, nostalgia kicked in as 3 grace classroom was in the show, so many things happened in that classroom, happy and sad. Makes me kind of miss phs, the food last time, the teachers(some of them) the buildings, the people. the carnival, the soccer with uniform. times where red shirt stood proud. times in the lib, com lab, sci lab, music room. NPCC, floorball. so many memories. which i could only look back now. (: oh well, this is life.

chapfallen

Sometimes I wonder why is it like that. why is it that some people are gd, some of them are bad. Sometimes you wonder, why is it that people must make you life miserable, some must make things hard for you. is this really a dog eat dog world? Actually just touched your heart, did i ever say no to all your request? did i ever not do things b4 hand? I have always done things in advanced, if not to the best of my ability, you dont appreciate nevermind, but at least have the courtesy to do something nice in return. what's the point of accumulating them and not able to "redeem" them. its not like i asked for a lot, it's just once a month. Dont ask so many reason, if i am happy, i would be more than willing to do what you asked me to if its within my limits. i hope things will turn out better, i am just hoping, after all its just 10more months

Blast

random msgs and surprises is what i like. ha. maybe i just need some care and concern.

No matter how strong one appear on the outside, he has a weak side.

i hope that she will be fine, after all she's the only one've left with. (:

feeling elmo's fren

Melancholic

Its funny sometimes how directors get their ideas to film a movie, could it be from a personal experience or from just pure imagination. Sometime, people just wan to shift their responsibility, its so easy to say I dont know anything, you just shifted your responsibility. It's amazing how people can me nonchalant about things. claiming recognition where there only did a small part of it while others have been working their ass off. The person lying there is your mother. she not even died yet, and there you'll are fighting as though as its not already bad enough. Cant you just spare a bit of your frking heart to care for a old lady. It does not matter how many times you visit her, it can be only once but that one time you go there because you truly care and not because you go for the sake of it. FOR GOODNESS SAKE, cant you adults wake up! SERIOUSLY, HEAVEN is always watching over you,they know what you are up to and who you really ar.

It's disheartening to see the sight. Tears just welled. JUST MAKE SURE SHE IS FINE AND THAT'S ALL I ASK.

WE THE KINGS

Do you remember the nights
We'd stay up just laughing
Smiling for hours
At anything
Remember the nights
We drove around crazy in love

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Do you remember the nights
We made our way dreaming
Hoping of being
Someone big
We were so young then
We were too crazy
In love

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Whoa whoa
Whoa whoa
Whoa whoa


When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be


When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

We all have a dream, you always thought that once it is fulfil you will be happy, but then again you have another dream, you just keep dreaming more and more till you forget that you cant fulfil your dream by dreaming it. Some parents are classic examples, ie to say, if their dreams cannot be fulfil, they pass it on to their children and put it nicely as their dreams. but have you ever thought that your child(ren) may not actually want to be this nor that?

No matter how afraid or how sad you are, you got to be strong and show your (: side

YOU WILL NEVER WALK ALONE

When you walk through a storm,
Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm,
There's a golden sky,
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown..

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone.......
You'll never walk alone.

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone.......
You'll never walk alone.

NOW I WALK ALONE, WHO WILL BE THERE TO JOIN ME?

need you now

Need You Now Lyrics

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothin at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now

Ooo, baby, I need you now

have you ever wished that someone will be there for you all the time, maybe not all the time, but when you need him/her, without a second word they will be here. i am lucky to have some of them but sometimes they are too caught up with their tight schedule. its non duty months for 6 weeks, can enjoy long holiday((: ord lo. LOL. sometimes having a girlfren is good as if all else fall you know that there will always be someone there for you,but that doesnt mean you neglect your friends, after all friends are always the people that will stay with you the longest least that girlfriend of yours becomes your wife. OH WELL. SO BORED!

NICE

TODAY WAS A FAIRYTALE, met up with reagen, chunfu, vanessa pin wen kailing fishy and wilson for alice in wonderland ( less pinwen) then headed for timbre, however due the long queue we made our way to chijmes where we went to hog breathe. ((: sometimes the simplest thing is the most wonderful thing. (:

130310, time pass really fast, 5 years have already passed. we have moved on for the better, and memories will be there to last.(:

TIRED

Tired of being what you want me to be, tired of doing stuff that are not in my job scope. tired of ppl pissing me off. but the irony of it is i like to get praise of doing extraordinary things in ordinary ways. Sometimes it just helps if there is another person who really understands you and love you. no need to many just one will do. This 5 years have been a rather quiet year with no emotional ties, i enjoy being single but on the other hand i want to find someone too. its not a must, but a bonus. oh well all these can wait, but now what i really want is to ORD! yes! ORD and nothing else. Although i noe what i am doing is something great ie protecting the nation sky, but sometimes when i am off duty, it makes me wonder why am i wasting my time here. although it is better than studying but sense of enjoyment sometimes you get when you are studying is far from anything you get when you are in the force. people dont praise you for your hardwork, although some do. while others just try to smoke their way through so as not to get themselves into hot soup. whats the point of doing last min work when you can do it daily and makes everything done easier. oh well. thank god i didnt sign on. or should i say, its not my type of job.

Anyway, lets not talk about work. talk about relationships. with parents? sometimes you just wish that they can understand you a little more, but sometimes you just feel that you can never be as close to them as you are, with your friends. but you know that they are the ones who will always be there for you, forgiving you, not neglecting you like what some of your friends may do. ironic isnt it. Sometimes you just want to be left alone, doing absolutely nothing at all, but then you somehow hope that someone wil msg you out of the blue and ask how are you, you get al excited and thrilled. then again you get annoyed if the person you receive the msg from is not who you wan it to be, you get even more annoy. THE most annoying thing is that if you are on off, the office still calls you to ask for stuff. although that may show your importance but it also shows that they are over reliant on you. oh well. suck thumb.

i dunno, i just like how someone will pat my head and call me *sha gua* silly head. it just make you feel love. feeling of being sayang?

THE TOUGHER THE PERSON APPEAR ON THE OUTSIDE, IT ONLY PROVE TO SHOW THAT HE IS TRYING TO COVER HIS WEAKER SIDE.

WOW

YET back again from a long week. practically did duty for like friday, sunday, tuesday, thursday and this coming sunday. oh well. suck thumb. but doing duty also good means you focus on just doing duty. FYI i dont do guard duty, I do duty of protecting the nation's sky. WA. IMBA rite? haha. people always think i do guard. nvm. I went out to eat dinner with my parents after so long. guai siols. ((: hope everything will stay as it is.

PS

Sometimes you just hope that the thought in your mind would be read by ppl even without you telling them, its amazing how some ppl does it. you just cant seem to figure out how they do it. oh well. it is the silence that is deafening. Anyway, back home to catch a breather before another stretch of duty surface. start to feel numb about duty as you do it more often.

Last week was fun, going to melson house and dinner with bmt peeps. its amazing how ppl have not meet for months and when they are together, there is alwasy things to say, talk and laugh about. all those foolish, silly things that ppl did. LOL

Anyway i dont like the feeling of being PS. like who likes it anyway, but it is saddening when you promise and you break it. i am very happy-go- lucky actually. I will do if you asked nicely just dont pissed me off or accuse me of something i didnt do. This year fan tai shui, and mommy told me that i shall control my temper and not vent it out as i like if not it wont be a very nice year for me ahead, esp to superior. LOL. so qiao. how can i not believe? anwyay its march already for 2010, so fast you may thing, soon enough i am a one year solider waiting for ORD. HAHA. cant wait for it man. HOORRAY POPING to zoe house later. TA!

FRENS

Friends are very special people. There are a lot of people out there saying that they are BFF, BFFF! but do they really mean what they say? Hmm. True friends are those no matter what time, how long you have never meet. one call it all that it takes for them to help. A friend in need is a friend in deed. Sometimes you just wonder how someone can be so cruel yet not feeling guilty themselves. could it be because someone did similar things to them and they decide not to be that good samaritian anymore. or do they feel great to see people suffering? But i do believe no matter how bad a person is, there still present a compassionate heart in him. agree? suddenly dont feel like blogging anymore. TATA

LOLx

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ZOE! had celebration at zoe house yesterday. TOTAL FUNNIEST. LOL. due to my very special BFF coming out with out of the world topic. LOL. HIGHNESS. POP the question on when you think our friendship will last. HA. although its random, but will the 7 of us be separated? with melson going to leave for states to study. and the girls graduating? finding their half apple. could it still be the same? or at least still keep in touch? same goes to niggers. Friendship is like relationship it takes all the parties to put in their part and nt just some. well i already have one that is on the verge. lets not talk about emo stuff. and I quite like what zw said yesterday nt because its nice to hear(no doubt) but what he say really set me thinking and i think its really true. HE said that i am one who shines whenever there's a group around me. shines nt as in taking the limelight but in a good way like more happy. and i start to eel all emo when i am alone. LOLx really. that how i feel also. i have build a relationship with people around me. i like having companies although sometime i like to be left alone. but more often than not i usually prefer to be with people. one of the most happiest times is playing floorball. Many memories left in there, all the training and stuff. actually apart from making into the national squad is one of my dreams i have another which i think it can be fulfilled easily is people i love come down and support me in my match, be it family, loved ones, friends( only jonathan, kailing and reagen naughty) once. i hope there would be really someone( chunfu and gang, zq and gang, zoe, sy and van and gang and all my close frens) just watch me play. although you all may nt understand the whole game play but its the presence that matters, give me the courage and support. probably then i will further excel. LOL. but anyway i dont even know if i am going to continue to play in the uni. let see how things goes. think thats abt all. SEE YA. OH! OH! OH! OH!

bumpy ride

LIFE has recently became a roller coaster ride for me, it started low, slow, but sunddenly you feel like you are on cloud nine where everything around you was perfect, you feel happy and all, but the next moment when it starts to descend. you start to feel queasy, feel afraid, the highness was soon over and even worst you found that you are having motion sickness, one moment of highness, happiness resulted in the day ending like crap, you feel down, upset, frustrated when people around you start giving that nonchalant attitude where they don't care about their stuff. they just want to cruise their way through when you someone who is responsible enough starts to gain recognition and people entrust things to you and you find yourself having so much to do that it never seems to finish, yet you may be happy that people trust you and task things to you, on the other hand you see others doing nothing but just stay around looking handsome, you just cant help it but to grumble why is it that they can be slacking their ass off and you are practically doing everything. why must you care so much, lets just get everyone frk. but you know you cant and can do nothing but to suck thumb as you do not want to spoil this relationship as you still need to face them almost the whole entire life. they are not bad i must say but they should be show more initiative and help out. when you dont have anything to do, it doesnt mean that other people have nothing to do, help them, so things can be done faster, quicker and everyone can be happier. why be the best when the best have to do everything, why be the lousiest when you know you can be the best?

FUN

THANKS BFFs for today, it really caught me off guard. i really did nt suspect anything, it was a total surprise for me ((; yea! THANKS. i really appreciate a lot. ZOE' mom fried rice, Shi yun granny curry, sandwiches from zoe, minmin and sy. SPIDERMAN CAKE FROM Van! ((: NT FORGETING ZW ANDRE AND MELSON IN THE CONSPIRACY, and the WOW WET TIME! lol ((: xie xie

I PRACTICALLY SPEND MY BD AT HOME. ): I GUESSED EVERYONE IS BUSY AND I HAVE TO GO FOR WEDDING DINNER. SUCKS! HAIZ. HAVE YOU EVER WANDER IF YOU PUT FREN AS IMPT PPL> DO THEY DO THE SAME? YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR THEM, BUT SOMETIMES THEY JUST CANT BE THERE FOR YOU. SO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE!

BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF? HAHA. turning twenty this year. finally reach the 20 le. old le. start to be an adult? LOL boon or bane? i dunno. nth to blog now.

LOVE

Back from a much dreaded week. NTH much to talk abt. Life is getting boring. what would it be like next week, would it be the same. lets hope i wont be disappointed.

NEW YEAR

IT"S THE START OF THE NEW YEAR! ((:

5 years now have passed, but it just seem to like happened yesterday. I am glad you still kept some of the stuff. (: