Love, In Five Paragraphs
MAR. 16, 2013
I believe you are my person. I love you, even
though you don’t love me. I love you, even though there’s nothing in it for me
anymore. There’s just loving you, but that’s enough for me. I find you to be
one of the most exquisite humans I’ve ever met, and knowing you is all it takes
to love you. I don’t need anything in return. Getting to be acquainted with
your intelligence, depth, understanding, endurance, humor, wisdom, (I could go
on), is what love is, and it’s why I choose to love you so intently.
Thank you for loving me when I didn’t love myself.
I pushed away because I believed that I wasn’t worthy of love. I came back
because I thought you were the only person who cared.
But you weren’t, and you’re not. You were, however,
the person with whom I fell most intensely in love. You reached inside of me
and made me feel. And with that, your love made every bit of my unhealed heart
and soul surface. And it was all left between us. I believe I’ve healed a lot
of it, but there’s always a ways to go. The point is: I credit you for being
the catalyst of my transformation. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I believe that love is the essence of everyone. But
in the context of being between two people, it is also a verb. And an action is
a choice. Physical feelings are just that—physical. But attraction of the mind,
heart, spirit—that’s miraculous. And when you choose to love another
unconditionally, without judgment, and regardless of what’s in it for yourself,
that’s the fairy tale.
I think you need to learn to love yourself as much
as I do. And I hope you do that. I will always be close, regardless of
distance. I’m always a phone call or a memory away, loving you, and hoping you
find peace, love, happiness and whatever else will fill you up and make your
life most worth living. Thank you for gracing my life. Please accept this as a
token of my love and gratitude, and know that what we shared was beyond what
language can construct. So far, this is the best I can do.
I want you to make up your mind, not change it. You need to know what you really want and no one can help you in that. Don't feel obligated to stay with me cause of everything I have done. I did them out of love. There are small little things that I done, Like refilling your bottle when it's empty and you have to rush for lessons. Help you check out your lessons venues, getting xuan to wake you up when you have important stuff on while you take your nap. No matter how tired i am i will stay up to make sure you are okay because i would never sleep well either. Tuck you into bed when you are cold., Take care of you when you are sick. Make breakfast for you, get you small little surprises, watch shows with you, fix your bracelets, your bags borrow books for you while i am away to keep you occupied, nuaing around doing random stupid stuff. go shopping with you, go groceries shopping together.Making cards and stuff on anniversaries to show you that i really treasure this relationship. I did all these because i love you. I never ask for anything in return even knowing maybe there is nothing in it for me. I am not stupid nor blinded by love. I guess this is what you do when you truly love the person. I want you to be happy, for if you are happy, I will be.
Love is a funny thing, you can spend a long time with someone, but when it really connects, you just need to spend a month with the other and it felt like ages. You cannot force yourself to love someone. Stay because you hope that there will be a future between us, not because you feel obligated to do so after I have done so much for you. Yes, i will be sad, i will cry like there is no tommorow but time will heal. And when time comes, you may have figured out what you want. You may realise that all these while what you are looking for is just right in front of you. That's when our relationship will progress. Eventually, I may not be the guy, there will be someone out there who you love not sure if as much as me but they will do the exact same thing. I think it will be a nice feeling if both does the same for each other in their own ways. So far to be honest, i never really felt that till recently where you cook me breakfast, you buy sushi to surprise me. I really appreciates that.
Ultimately, if you do choose to stay, i hope it is something that you want to. Leave when you need to. or I will leave when time is up. My presence is not doing you any good cause I never stop loving, but for you, you might feel pressured. Thinking that you should stay cause you "owe" me. No one owes nobody. From the very first day we talk, I knew you were special and I just knew I needed to talk to you for I don't want to regret for the rest of my life. I am glad that i did it. I never regretted. If you do read this post, take sometime to thing, I am not forcing you to make a decision nor am i telling you what to do. I know you don't like it. I just want to both of us to be happy. Be it being together or not. For you always be that girl who holds a special place in my heart. Thank you for coming into my life.
I love you, R
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