Part II

Moving on to the point of how much can one love?

For me, I think I am quite an emotional guy. I often dive into things too quickly and end up getting hurt pretty badly. I guess this is the first time I really experienced love. Maybe one sided but at the end of the day, it is always better to have loved than not to. I am truly glad that I met you. I was there for your heartbreak, to ease your heartbreak. I don't know if it was the right thing to but I know its the correct thing to do. being there as a friend. As the days goes by, feeling start to develop and things start to change. It all started out  with a forbidden forehead peck and things start to advance. Yup, it was not a very good start and you did told me not to get too serious but i did anyway, naively trying to use my actions to prove to you that I am serious about this relationship and hope you would sooner or later follow suit.

However, that was never the case. A trigger came and you soon realise that this is not what you wanted, I cannot give you what you want. That trigger might have catalyzed the underlying problem of us not being able to communicate effective, me not being able to give you intellectual talks. I admit that is the problem on my side. I do not talk much perhaps is just the way i was brought up. I was perpetually alone for a big part of my life. Yes, I have tonnes of friends and a few better ones and actually that's it What I really want out of a relationship is that my partner will love me, sometimes do nice things for me. care for me, ask me what's wrong when I maybe looking down, most importantly growing together. For your case, it never really did happen, you did nice things for me, waited for me to end training, cook for me and a lot more and I really appreciated them a lot. Somehow, love was always avoided. I think about a lot of stuff actually but just not sure how to sort that thought of mine out. I want to talk to you, i want you to listen critically and sincerely. I hope it;s not too late. I know you have make some grave mistakes with that trigger (I know, I really do). I guess it takes both hands to clap.

I know you and understand you well. Sometimes you did things that follow your heart but not your mind. It is perfectly okay, I never have and never will judge you for you are my beloved. Come to me, talk to me, talk it out with me, I want to know more about you. Listen to your inner mind. Do not talk to others what is meant solely for me or they would soon take over my job. You should do the right things even if it mean to hurt someone cause at the end of the day you know that its better to hurt them now rather than to hurt them later.My question to you is, is this really what you want? If you have thought through carefully and all and come and tell me this is what you want, I am willing to let go, set you free from all these pain. Yes, it is painful, it stings, it hurts but love is not about possession, its about seeing the person truly being happy. If there is someone whom i think can give her a better life, I will give me greatest blessing and I guess this may be the true meaning of love. With all that being said,  I hope you will make what is best for you cause i want the best for you. The best for you might not be the best for me but at the end of the day, I would be happy to see you find your true love. Till then, you will always hold a special place in my heart.